Just Wandering Through

care to put me up for a night?

[sticky post]Master List of Fic
I have a few fics posted here under the cut

For a full accounting, go to AO3

Also I have a tumblr

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Went out this morning determined to be a productive good samaritan. Went to the blood donation center @ 7 in the morning on the heavy day of my period having eaten two bites of bread that morning. Nurse had to go on a hunt for my vein. Donate most but not all of a bag. I faint. Wake up with someone asking my name and am nauseous and my uterus is eating me alive. Have to lie with my feet up and cold paper towel on my forehead for a half hour. Nurse tells me if I don't let my food digest before donating it can make me feel nauseous, and that's probably half the reason I want to throw up. The other half is my uterus eating me alive. Toddle to the bathroom twice and get asked a couple times if I'm okay. Leave hoping I don't faint while driving. Guzzling water and eating fruit snacks on the drive out. Now I'm at a cafe to reward myself with tea and sugary oatmeal and studying for the GRE.

i dunno it's been a day already

Happy happy
My heart has been bursting; I'm so grateful and ecstatic that I got this job and that I happened to see the application and everything that has led me to this point. A few months ago I was filled with this heavy, quiet dread that I had to go into a writing career and do journalism and I knew deep down I didn't want to do journalism at all. And all my applications were for writing places and they all turned out terribly and then this was the one random job I tried for that was all science and it's the one that came through and I feel so?? comfortable??? here?

The people are wonderful and nerdy, the work is interesting (sometimes scary because we're working with toxic chemicals but always interesting), I'm allowed to sit in on classes and lectures so I'm being paid while learning so much new material. It's helped me understand what science is, that it's so much guesswork and toying around to see what happens and in a lot of ways it's an artistic process in that you have to think creatively to solve problems and be able to imagine new scenarios that no one has thought about before. I think the biggest benefit is that I get to sit next to these smart as fuck people and hear them admit ten times a day that they don't know something or that something confuses them, and it's revealed that you don't have to be a genius to succeed in this field. You just have to be willing to keep asking questions and read a lot and know how to think through problems. And I can do that!! I can learn and think; I know I can, because I've been spending the last three days trying to teach myself the chemistry behind this one process we do (even though i hate chem), and I think I finally have a grasp of it and I'm!! so proud of myself for figuring this out!!

Idk, I'm not aiming to be some ivy league, ivory tower professor because the academia culture can be toxic and political as all get out and I'm not into that. I'm going to try for that masters degree and hopefully that won't squash this enthusiasm I have for geology. (advanced degrees look like hell) But I'm imagining this whole new future that wasn't there five months ago, where I get to work for a lab or a park and keep learning about how the world works and what it was like in the past, and that's incredible. That's fucking incredible that I get to be part of that. I'm just thankful for whatever random cosmic force pushed me toward this direction because I can tell it's been for the better.

Fic: Touched

Title: Touched
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 5582
Characters: Lily, Original Character (Lily/OFC femslash)
Warning: Gore, Violence
Summary: Hope is something Lily Baker discarded years ago. She's not supposed to find it in the dead of winter, in a small Alaskan town besieged by demon activity. AU where Lily escapes from Cold Oak, unaware that the Winchesters have beaten Azazel.
Note: I wrote this back in December for the SPN Femslash Holiday Exchange, with a prompt from arodeanw

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Grad school???
So, I've reached a semi-official decision. I'm applying for grad school


I know now that I want to focus on geology as a career, but there's only so far you can go with a bachelors. It makes more sense to bite the bullet and jump into a masters program while I'm still young and okay with being poor. Except the problem is that even though the excited, nerdy little kid in me wants to go into planetary geology and work with Io and Pluto, I'm also getting the sense that there aren't that many planetary geology programs out there, and the good ones are super picky about who they let in. And I don't feel very qualified or smart, and I feel like the chances of getting into any of these programs is super slim.

And then, is there any job security in planetary work?? Because I'm really not interested in entering academia and the Ivory Tower, and I suspect NASA hires the smartest in the bunch. So should I focus on a more general geo masters, one that I can use for a lot of fields?? Like, I can do surficial processes, and then that can be applied to Earth or other bodies.

I'm going to have to really dig into educating myself. In a sense I'm lucky I work in a university, surrounded by very smart people, so it's not that hard to find the resources. What's hard is finding the time and energy to read the textbooks and papers, especially if I have any more weeks like this one, where I'm working 9-10 hour days : /

I feel excited at the idea of furthering my education but wow, it's going to suck getting there, and I might not succeed.

(the silver lining in all this is it looks like most programs only need general GRE scores, not the physics GRE, which is good news for me because I am poorly prepared to tackle that particular beast.)

777 (again!)
I'm avoiding writing so instead I'm doing that 777 meme.

1. Go to page 77 (or 7) of your current manuscript.
2. Go to line 7
3. Copy down the next 7 lines – sentences or paragraphs – and post them as they’re written.

So here's something from my main wip, a Cas/Sam ace big bang piece:

“What else did they tell you?” he asked.
Sam gave a smile through his chewing. “I’m a little embarrassed to say it at this point,” he said.
“Do it before I sober completely.”
“Yeah, okay,” Sam snorted, leaning back. “Um, I guess Ruby gave my number to her sister. Megan?”

Not all that exciting, but there we go.

writing things
I... think that I'm going to start phasing more into writing original fic this coming year. Like, I have a list of fan fics I really want to finish and write, and they're going to get done. But I hope they'll be finished more or less by the end of 2016 and then next year I think I'm going to really start focusing on original.

Because I'm recognizing that there are some things that I need to learn from original fic, mainly how to build a character from scratch and make the reader care about that character. That's a place where fan fic has utterly spoiled me, because there's 0 work involved in making the reader love characters. Although then again, learning how to replicate characters has also been really valuable because it teaches you what about a character makes them really work; kind of like how artists recreate masterpieces.

So yeah, not that I plan on stopping fan fic but it'll probably be smaller projects.

And completely contrary to all that, I just signed up for the J2 big bang so I finally have a solid motivation for writing this forest!Sam fic that's been rattling around my brain for almost a year. Really excited to finally sink my teeth into it, but only after I wrap up this Cas/Sam story for Ace Mini Bang.

end of year fic meme
I'm going to grab at that fic meme!

Total Word Count For The Year: Published work, 123,182, which adds up to a respectable novel. There's more sitting on my computer but I'm not in the mood to try and sift through that morass.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?. You know, I hadn't really predicted anything. But looking back, I'm surprised by the amount that got written. It's less than last year, but I also had a summer of hell this year that kept me out of writing for a few months. Overall pleased!
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[fic] two by two

Title: two by two
Rating: Gen
Word Count: 2,111
Characters: God, Amara, Death
Warning: maybe some incesty vibes?
Summary: it's not like he can forget he's got a sister locked up somewhere, not when everything he creates is testament to it.
this is me shoving very loosely interpreted science into the spn mythos.
read a basic explanation of matter and anti-matter here

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feel good
i can tell that my body is finally recovering from this summer and back on track, physically speaking. I've been working more on the weight machines and it's really gratifying to realize that you can carry things more easily than you could a few months ago. and tonight's run was *really* good! I'm managing the hills much better and my first mile's time is now consistently under 12 minutes. not stellar, but faster than before.

and my complexion's been clearer lately, so i'll go ahead and add that to the good pile


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